Leisure and Tourism
Hi, and welcome to Leisure and Tourism Studies! How can we help you? By training you up in Boomtown’s boomingest industry, that’s how!
Here at Leisure and Tourism we provide short sharp, shiny no-stress capsules of info that you can impart to others in your future careers as hosts, pamperers, servers and tour guides.
We provide job recommendations for the tip-top Leisure businesses on Graduation. We teach you how to get tips as high as your smile and futures as wide open as your welcoming arms.
Times may be tough and confusing, but that’s when people need a holiday! And with Paradise Heights upping their game, you’re sure of a bright future here at Boomtown.
Yo what’s up, turbo-Nerds! Hazza and Bozza here. Harold Derringer and Boris Umklauten, once major players in BHI (not that major, really just footsoldiers, MAJOR footsoldiers tho, but don’t blame us for all that, you know, STUFF! haha LOLZ but we made PLENTY MONEYYYY so we’re not incompetent or anything! F’reals.).
Now we’re BAK 2 BAK and BAK 2 SKOOL with you pipsqueaks, gonna pass on the WizDom to get the FizzDom (Perignon that is! Ha don’t worry about it, rich people joke).
We know all the rising stars in the Boom, gonna mine them for that sweet sweet brainfood, and pass on any tips we don’t use for ourselves. Heard about this Onecor lot (fingaz on da PULSE!) so probs can sort out a spot of Networking for VIP Grads. (If you can make it worth our whilez, cos DAT’S BIZNIZZ kiddies!)
After a decade of non-stop upheaval, resistance, betrayal and injustice, Boomtown’s rich and gory History rolls on.
And here at the History Department we strongly believe that if we do not learn from History we are condemned. Not only to repeat the mistakes of the past, but to enable those who would restrict our freedoms, take our wealth and destroy our homes to become more and more powerful.
Here we study the methods by which first elected, then corporate, then supposedly ‘Revolutionary’ overlords managed to pull the wool over the eyes of the blissfully ignorant masses.
We have a module on the current Abomination known as AMI where we will study ‘her’ in context with previous corporate attempts to spy on and spread propaganda amongst the citizenry.
As this University has seen fit to install ‘her’ as our Final Assessor we cannot promise all our students will graduate, get a job or even remain physically safe. For serious knowledge seekers only!
What the hell is going on with the environment? If you really want to know, take this course. We study the soil, the climate, the immense trash heaps and the mass extinctions.
And then we quietly weep for the horrors humanity has wreaked and wish we were born as blameless spider monkeys, or just spiders. Spiders would do.
We also encourage you to recycle and pack up your tents when you leave. Why?
Because we need to know we fucking tried.
AMI. Her unreadable face looms over us, she whispers in our ears and hums in our pockets. She makes the trains run on time. She reinvents the fabric of thought, time and nature. But her purpose is still unclear.
It is vital that as a centre of new knowledge, we at Ivory Towers put all the best minds of Boomtown into the task of establishing the intentions of this immense intelligence.
Will she elevate us as a species and fix our mistakes like a sweet, gentle Goddess? Will we all become one Hive Mind with AMI as the Queen Bee? Or will she brutally squash us beneath her virtual boot as useless ignorant parasites?
Visual and Performance Arts
Do a little dance! Make a little art! Get down tonight! Here at the Arts Department we’re cross-disciplinary, post-everything, transmedia, antibinary, multiplatform, bleeding edge and open as a Black Hole on Black Friday. Express yourself!
Even in the era of AMI and impending doom, Art remains important. We’ll make sure YOUR special mind-farts keep on popping out, regular as clockwork.
Pop! The Graphic Novels of Existential Dread. Thhhpt! The Pottery of Cynical Hedonism. Pfft! The Interpretive Dance of Back to basics Survivalism. Brruurght! The Poetry of Cat Memes. Wrumpgh! 90s sitcoms remixed with Tentacle Hentai. Pip! A Crap Picture You Done with a Biro.
Come and learn how to describe all of this Guff to make it sound Really Important.